Love Letter

This agony intensified as the urgency to my relationship with my favorite person. Today, I felt a horrible mass sitting in my heart. My mood loomed ominously and automatically tingle my eyes to well up with tear. When I was in a crowded room spaces with noisiness, I feel alone like nobody’s there and I was cold without sensational hug. My eyes were immune to see the happiness. I went to the bathroom, taking shower so you don’t see me cry. I know it was a crime that hid behind the letter L. Well, I just miss you till you almost took my sanity. That’s why dozens swarmed of negativity infected my brain like a tumour. I’m digging your attention and commitment on the first time we hold hands in the cinema. I only ask for one small hole in you so I can feel secure and safe. I never had this feeling to other human being besides you who keep a key to my heart. If I was new to this relationship, that's fine cos I’m still trying to learn this art of love. I’m not going to give up on you. I already cast a spell to you that I'm not going to cheat behind your back. On the other hand, i hope u be there for me when i need a voice of support and treatment. Sayang…. Saya harap awak maafkan saya jika saya keterlaluan atas kelakuan saya yang kurang bijaksana.

Your Un-official Husband;

Ikmal Aliff Jamaludin

It was my picture of our first webcam Session.

Hell-O-Ween

The last day on October page was Halloween. It is largely a secular celebration but some have expressed strong feelings about perceived religious overtones. On my glasses, it is similar to Eid except the kids would wear costumes to resemble some of their nightmares or superheroes. While “trick-or-treating” wears a same concept to Eid. I wonder if I could give candies on Eid than wasting my piggy bank to those cannibal kids. ROFL. Even I’m not celebrating it but still… I love to watch the joy of the celebration.

Actually, I wasn’t aware it was Halloween until I hit One Utama, as I planned to hang out with Aiman. I went there with Acaf and Hakim since Hakim wanted to full a job as part-timer during his semester break. After we arrived, there was one difficulty where Hakim left his car key inside the car. LOL. All of us were panicked but luckily the case was settled down after Aiman came for a rescue. ROFL. He only directed us to key’s expert kot.
Aiman and I went for another direction to have hourly talk while Acaf and Hakim browsed something to wrap a present for Acaf’s gf. After Aiman and I gave a rest to our feet at Starbucks, Acaf buzzed me for an emergency. Well, Hafizah. Newly Dolce & Gabanna perfume that acaf's gave u was my selection. HAHAHA. But lucky u cos Acaf bought that for you :’(. He never buy me any goodies unless foodies to make look fat. -__- 





Next, we walked warily to Halloween celebration that parked in front of the entrance. We took pictures and damn…… I had so much fun. All of the kids were cute but only this one boy attracted me with his Michael Jackson looks. He got groove man…. I saw Princess Jasmine, Snow White and 8 sexy cat women ran towards him. Ceh.. lucky u cos real MJ was on the other world. Before I geared up to Putrajaya, we were entertained watching Phobia 2. Geez. It was a so-so type of movielah… cos I wasn’t scared that much except for Aiman…… aiyoh… can anyone give him oxygen!!!

Creating a Most Unwelcome Sensation

Hey readers! Sorry guys cos I haven’t update any news. I paused my blog session for last couple of weeks. No worries. I’m back now! Last Sunday was my first day at new college. Frankly I wasn’t ready yet due to the fun I’m having. Well, modernization has spoiled me. Sigh. First day on college was a bit turned off. It creates a most unwelcome sensation. On hindsight, I have to stay durable. Cmon… I can’t let this dirty mess imperfect at its best. I’m the one who should sketch my day. I switched on the happiness on the face. I made friends with Kelantanese, Sarawakian, Northern including Kuala Lumpuran. Yeay! But I’m still looking a friend that suits me best.

Last Tuesday, I went to Pharmacy briefing and it gave me such aversion. I was enraged. This mini semester, I only have to attend one subject. Ridiculously absurd!!!  My schedule is extremely at leisure cos in one day, I only have 2 hours of lecture class. Haih… Mana bisa mungkin. I could contain boredom obviously.  On the Brightside, I can focus on this subject plus I really want to achieve 4 flat for this semester since the subject is not that hard (if I study).  Yes! I can’t work for 24-hours on study. Stress weyh. I need to balance with fun as well. Under these circumstances, I need to graph my life so it won’t be bored. Out~

Inconsolable in his Grief

That day marked the beginning of my fondness for all these things. The day when all the silent humid the room. I was peaceful from any disgusting issue. I can breath and moving on to the next chapter. I am so strong since I've put my strong faith in God and tell myself that it was just a test. Back then, I offered to be friend with D twice but D rejected me. I stayed strong; I just need to try but only D can help itself to friend with me. Next, D quiet and leave me thousand dust of word. In the end, I could feel that day. The day I stated above. I buried the relationship in the quicksand; I threw away the broken string. Gladly I'm happy.

After a month, I was apprehensive; a feeling of mysterious expectancy overcame me. What a surprise that D is switching on. Offered the same thing that I used to offer, said the same thing I used to say. But the different is D putting so much pressure when I refused. D promised me a friendship. I with no doubt refuse to accept because; 1st D might harm my relationship with my partner, 2^nd my mom advised me to be wise in choosing friend. Choose a friend that can teach you to be a better person.  And newly listed number three is D already did an immature thing before I haven’t give my final answer whether to accept it's friendship. And 4^th, D tried to stop my happy ending with a wife and kids. To the readers who knew it. This is my answer. I wasn’t tried to fight back but it is as an acknowledgment.

 I believe all my readers are wise and intelligent. They are not going to judge me with people's bad thought. I believe they going to judge me from the day I said to them Hi. Plus who are they going to donate their trust? To 18 years old student? Or to a student who went clubbing every weekend and get drunk and ashamedly take weeds? Hurm... btw I am inconsolable Miss D. Only my best friends know the truth behind the wall. And I don't know what you told your people about me but my advice is please, don't lie. Just tell them the actual story on the first episode. Don't you skip and pick the scenes that entirely made me look like a bad people. Peace out.

He Tiger

I am all the eyes in this labyrinth where people throw their humanitarian soul into the heavenly dungeon and acted pretty much like a beast. As a fact, English named some of simile to animal such as brave as lion. I looked deeply through my instinct. I grew some of animosity in my vein. I try to pace a day, a week and a month to find the originality of life but I was lost in my research. Hence, I remain seated and observed the wildlife of human. 

Case One. I saw a peacock. She got the entire look from the Promised Land. Pretty as like a fairy god mother had cast a spell on her. I gradually melted with the watery eyes but she just a cheap art. Good looking at the outside but inside is an empty space. She is proud. I gave a slap on my forehead. I should have notice the ancient similitude that peacock is proud. Brag about the Eden feathers. I threw a sarcastic smile that killed her deadly. I whispered a pray on her left ear. For good, she's not stubborn. She unmasked the ego and gradually a human. A lesson I've learned, advice is such a good treatment. It can repaint the cheap art to something precious. In instant, I pop up a fact why charming people always tune their pride at such volume. Reminder for us is to stop slaving and adoring a person just because of appearance. Dig the character and lastly you will groom yourself a friend. Like I do. A friend to a peacock ;D.

Case Two. As cunning as fox is another analogy. The fox is a good friend of mine that I just knew few months ago. I always support him in every way. He clings to me and so do I. The problem was, I gave him a light to see when the darkness engulfs him but I could not contain my curiosity. My heart plays some rhythm that he might cheats around his past. He refused to tell the truth and when I forced him to confess. He came up with the white lie that turned him naive and innocent. Sigh… Again, I spoiled him with words and lastly he admits his mistake; being unfaithful. He deceived tones of victim to call as red riding hood. He impersonated and cheats the girls. I must say it's Karma cos he did something bad at the past and now all the bad things against him. I'm a friend to him so I helped him out of the situation

I pictured this entry to a huge metaphor. I sketched the human played a norm; imperfect person. No one is perfect and good.  We still took a sip from our devil's cup. We wouldn't even know it is a bad move until we hit the lesson and moral values.

Monster's Den

This entry was in my draft, I was dead-eye to illustrate the day until I bounce with the pictures. It seems like everyday, Acaf & I plan for a jog in the morning but the weather slightly sarcastic. Sometime It cries, sometime It dries. Wtf! Both of us abandoned our sleeping time just because to shake shake & drop our fatty bom bom but in the end raining. Seriously it was 4 days in the row and for a second, I thought it was a message from God that I should stay fat . Aiyoh…. Then we postponed to latter part of a day at 6 pm. I know…. I'm skinny n why need to care of being fat. Actually it is a deal for me since I lights up the cancer stick. I rarely go sweat. I was school athlete in secondary school (the only sport I'm keen. RUNNNNNN) thus I need to test my doggy leg from time to time.

On my way to the Mount. I mms-ed this picture to my love one

On hindsight, Acaf drove us to this mount called Gunung Sami. Nice recreation place (a praise). I haven't been there for the past few years. Surprisingly, we were welcomed by the MONKEYS  when we arrived there. WTF! They are like 20+ of wild monkeys, I’m not sure of their exact numbers since they chased us. Bodo punya monyet. I can't understand why they only chased us but not other people. I guess it was acaf’s fault cos he wore yellow sweater. He looked like giant banana to them kot. Fuck you acaf. I don't even have to time to warm up. 

I was profusely sweating and struggling to breathe. Phew…. What a sudden attack by the monkeys. I think I have to correct the actual praise. It is a nice recreation place but for MONKEYS.  Next, I had my time to walk warily and did camera action for a while. Lastly, I reached home at 8 pm & sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep . It’s a good evening at Recreation Park which I refer as a den; the lair or shelter of a wild animal. In this case, I specially dedicate this entry to the monkeys. Thanks cos fuck my day

The situation was clear. No sign of monkey. lol

Reckon With a Stick of Bogus

I already travel blow-by-blow times. There's a fact that I ride my own sluggish “time machine” when I close my eyes. This time I tried to brood over when I started to burn cigarettes. I still have the anamnesis of it. I'd make such a reason to be a smoker and yet I was dumb cos there is not reason to start smoking. I just want to rebel. Be the poison child at early age of 18. The first age of day, I tried to learn to suck the dust in it with my friend as a plan to be a social smoker. The second age of day, I tried to impress cos girls may think guys who smoke is such a turn ON (this kinda lame lah for 2009). The third age of day, it became a rage; a violent desire or passion that make me want it at certain clock time. I don’t think I’m a heavy smoker since I only took 2 or 3 junk at certain times which are during talking on the phone, after having pleasure, after having meal n that's all.

My mom use to nag me about it however her words didn't have much of an impact on me. I crossed my heart to her that I will stop soon (soon in a mean of later. Eheh). By the time when I was enjoying watching tv, there was a great advertisement about smoking which kind of pull me to the ceiling especially the Chinese women with a dragon mouth. Fuuyoh! What an ugly women they include. But the best part is when the mother said to her son; “DON'T BREAK MY HEART”. The sharp word on century weyh…. I can imagine if my mother say that to me. Oppositely I won't throw the cigarettes into the dustbin; I may hide it in my underwear. Lol.

Last night, my good friend advised me to stop smoking. It tickles me. I answered Nantilah. Short but yes! It's my best current answer at this time. If I find a replacement of this addiction in future or maybe tomorrow, then I won’t blacken my lungs anymore. I should be the God to my heart and decide between YES or NO. Hurm, I’m not the one who neglected the “tak nak” advertisement. I do mark a mind into it. It’s just time my dear friend. Btw can I ask a favor through my writing? I assume I can since it is my blog!!! ROFL. I hope people who dislike smokers would not got to smoker and crack a sentiment of WTF like “Errggggh, I hate smoker” cos smoke is not a sin. It is just a bad habit. Everyone does have a bad habit such as my friend. He is so cunning to pick his nose shit. lol. Gtg readers~